New You Loading...

What do you do when you sense it's time for a new you; when the space you're in feels too small or uncomfortable, it's either grow or die, or you're thrust into a new atmosphere and it's either sink or swim? Do you need some strategies for facing these pivotal moments?

I am excited to have had Giselle Jones as my first podcast guest on my brand new podcast, Black Girl, Love Well. During this post, I hope to capture and share some of the ideas we discussed in the episode. If you want, you can listen to the episode here.

How Do You Know When a New You Is Loading?

Do you pay attention to that during the holiday season as the new year is getting ready to turn over? Or maybe you pay attention when your birthday is about to roll around? Or like me and Giselle, do you view your life as dynamic and constantly loading? What are some ways that you notice the necessary growth that is waiting in the wings for you?

In the past, I have missed the loading of a new me and found myself in dire straits that could have been avoided if I had just paid attention and made room for a new me sooner. But how do you know when a new you is loading? With all that is happening in life, let’s face it, it can be easy to miss.

Don’t Miss It

Giselle noted that when change and growth is loading for her, she becomes uncomfortable in a setting she is in, whether it is friendship, career, or a romantic relationship. She will begin to feel like she doesn’t belong or like whatever she is doing doesn’t align with her life and values. This signals to her that change is loading.

That resonates with me. Every time a new me is loading, I become uncomfortable. I may try to adjust the situation to make it fit, but what is usually happening is I am evolving and the space just doesn’t fit because it isn’t supposed to anymore.

Make Room

Giselle intentionally makes room to notice the loading (so it doesn’t sneak up on her) by creating rhythms. She takes the first week of January off every year to spiritually reset. This is an annual rhythm she has created for her life. During this time, she decides on a theme for the year that she wants to see manifest in every area of her life; career, home, friendships, etc. This focuses her and creates space for her to notice the constant loading of growth and change all throughout the year.

When asked how she makes room for the new thing that may be loading, she shared that she creates rhythms of clarity, connection, and care.

Create A Clarity Rhythm

You can create a rhythm of clarity by consistently setting aside moments in your day to pause and seek clarity. Maybe it is in the morning or at night before bed, but creating a rhythm of pausing to be clear about your next moves ensures that you will not miss a thing and that you will be able to recalibrate for the changes that may be loading.

Create A Connection Rhythm

Connect with others that can help you make room for growth. Tap into your village as a resource. Sometimes that looks like finding a therapist, calling your mom, dosing with your besties, or asking your partner to step up to do a little more around the home. Maybe you’ll carpool with a neighbor or friend so that you aren’t driving your kids to soccer every single practice.

Create A Self-Care Rhythm

Care is finding a rhythm of caring for yourself in ways that help you to be available to what is loading. That may mean getting your nails done, meditating, having lunch with a friend, reading a good book, or taking a new course to learn something new. You know what feeds your soul and helps you to feel cared for. Make a list of those things and do one thing on the list at least once a week. By this, you create a weekly rhythm of caring for yourself.

Life Happens

Giselle noted that life is going to happen so there will always be barriers to the change loading in your life. She shares that if you simplify your life taking as much off your plate as you can, you position yourself for success when recalibration becomes necessary. When changes are getting ready to happen in your life, you will not be able to face them if you are already stretched too thin.

Another strategy is to replace achievements/goals with values. Instead of creating goals you want to reach (that later you feel like a failure for not reaching) think about values you want to see manifest in the next season of your life. An example would be setting the value of a healthier body rather than setting the goal of losing 20 lbs.

Replacing goals with values will be a true north so that whatever you believe is loading will have to be in harmony with the direction you want your life to take. That will help you more readily understand what is loading and how it fits.

It isn’t always easy to notice when evolution is happening or necessary, but if we can create rhythms in our lives, it becomes that much easier!